In The Nationality of Partners: Building Healthy, Loving Relationships, Adele Brydges offers up a unique perspective on relationships that many are too focused on practical issues, such as compatibility or finances. She also offers a refreshingly honest look at how we view nationalities, love, and relationships. For example, while many assume that German and American are mutually exclusive, Brydges points out, “Americans tend to think about nationality as more of a financial concept.” In this light, the differences between an American and a German can be seen not as absolutes but as possibilities.
Adele Brydges’ major focus in this volume is to explore the question, “What makes a partner American?” Although she addresses this question at length and includes many illustrations, the focus of the book is not a chronological one but rather a developmental one, examining how we define ourselves as we move through various stages of our lives and relationships. As a sociologist interested in understanding cultural diversity, cultural nationalism, ethnicity, and other organizational forms, I was excited to learn that this book would not be a history of nationality. Rather, it was an examination of how we as individuals develop the meaning of our identity and how that development relates to our ability to be partners. At times I felt the book lacked an overall argument, but then again, the focus on the individual’s development as an individual being rather than an abstract nationality was well-suited to this topic.
The majority of chapters focus on four distinct aspects of nationality and relationships: age, height, educational attainment, and occupation. While each chapter provides some insight into these four areas, most do not delve deeply enough to explore how these factors relate to each other and whether or not they are in conflict with each other. That being said, I found that all the chapters began by discussing how differences in stature affect how we see ourselves and then consider how those differences impact our ability to see the common characteristics shared by all humans, regardless of their race, gender, or age. The book then spends quite a bit of time examining how differences in height and weight affect how we relate to others as well as how they relate to our ability to be a partner. These discussions shed light on how being taller or heavier affects our level of trust in others, how differences in weight affect our sense of humor and social skills, and how differences in educational attainment affect how we perceive ourselves and how we interact with others.